it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
i think im in europe. pls send help
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