Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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