please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
