I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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