after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
