I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
