I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
