Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
there was a trapeze. enough said
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
