rhymes with "ouble enetration"
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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