he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
