marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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