so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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