So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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