I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
