fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Randomize
