Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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