I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
