wanna go halves on a baby?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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