you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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