So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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