Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
