youre lurking in front of me
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
