Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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