is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize