While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
