Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize