I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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