his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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