I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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