there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
