left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
