I can tuck mytits in my pants
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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