a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
