The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize