i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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