god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
