Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
