My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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