his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
