Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I just saw a hot homeless man
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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