ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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