Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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