So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
