mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
