i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Randomize
