It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Randomize
