Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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