Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
