Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
