That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
