Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
