More tranny stories later!
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Randomize
