I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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