i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
