Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I am naked and annoyed.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
