im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
You can't special order awesome
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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