I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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