Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
It's blow job season.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
