Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
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