the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
