We're facebook friends in real life
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
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