who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
