That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Tornado booty call.. dedication
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize